Walking with the Elephants
Excerpt from my Diary
30th September 2018 - Day 12 of 27 days on safari in Africa
It’s Botswana’s Independence Day today - 52 years!
The wind has howled all night, blowing the curtains and shaking the tent.
Today is a day I will remember for the rest of my life. Today, my Beloved and I WALKED WITH THE ELEPHANTS.
May I tell you?
Firstly, we didn’t know we were going to walk with the elephants. (Visit Living With Elephants foundations rescue elephants)
Guests are in camp, so we didn’t get our normal wake up call at 5.30 am. I woke at 5.45 am, fearful that we had missed out on our morning safari with TT, our incredibly skilled guide. We dressed hurriedly and ran to the lodge, where a solitary Landrover was parked, and our hearts sank.
I could hear the ‘Loud American’ holding court before we walked in, giving the guide a few tips about African animals. A flurry of misunderstanding ensued: they asked why were we here so early, we said we thought we’d missed our safari, they said you are going on an elephant walk, we said no, not today, we weren’t told that, we parried trying to gain clarity. Gerald overheard the Loud American, ask about the Elephant Walk, what cost? US$1200 for his group of four. Really? Forms were brought and he and his party began filling them in. Dear God, no! If we ARE going on an elephant walk, which was the primary reason we came to Stanley Camp, please, please please don’t let this man be in our group! I make discreet enquiries, one says yes he is, another says, no he is not. His group leaves with their guide for a ‘short’ safari, and I say to Gerald “I am NOT going on an elephant walk with that man, I am JUST NOT!” My Beloved makes soothing sounds and tells me not to allow one human being to wreck my lifelong dream, so I breathe deeply in an attempt to relaaaaax.
We fill in a ‘no responsibility’ form which includes the following:
“I fully understand that during the Elephant Experience I may be exposing myself and/or my property to risk and possibility of danger, harm or damage from naturally occurring hazards, from wild animals and creatures of diverse sorts, and from the Eles to be used during the Elephant Experience, which by virtue of their size and nature, can be dangerous and can cause damage.”
BRING IT ON!
We’re too early as the Elephant Walk only starts at 8 am, so we head return to our tent for a shower. Now I know we are definitely going on an Elephant Walk, my excitement is mounting and I decide that even the Loud American won’t spoil my day. I’m wearing the ivory earrings I’ve had for 45 years, it seemed fitting to bring them back to Africa, but I remove them and replace them with a set of plastic leopard print drops.
Our guides, KD and a beautiful woman, Grace, drive us to our rendezvous, and troops of monkies scamper alongside the Landie as we drive. Three couples join us from nearby Barnes Camp – from France, South Africa, and England - the latter arriving with The Loud American. I cannot tell you how happy I am when the driver drops the Poms and drives him away. There IS a God, thank you!
KD has an impressive looking gun, which I hope he does not have to use. I think I’d rather see the Loud American shot than an elephant. In the distance I see a man and two elephants walking towards us, and my heart skips. He is one half of the couple, Doug and Sandi Groves (sandi.elephants@gmail.com) who are the adopted ‘parents’ of Jabu (a male, 41 years old) and Marula (a female 32 years old) the elephants we will meet today.
Inexplicably, Gerald’s camera dies. What?? NOW? Gerald attempts repairs with no result, and Grace offers to drive back to our tent at camp and retrieve a bag which contains a second ‘chip’ for his camera. Grace - our infinite love and gratitude.
Sandi introduces herself. She is tiny, a woman in her forties, comfortable in her skin, wearing Crocs and muted clothing, her hair twisted in a knot under a sensible hat, her face is peaceful, she takes things in her stride, there is a strength and assuredness about her. South African born, she has lived in Botswana for 25 years, she and Doug (who is American – yes, I know there are lots of good Americans - I take it all back …) met when he came to Knysna in South Africa to participate on a wild life documentary. She was studying zoology and biology and was doing some practical work in the same camp. He was at that time ‘bringing up’ three orphaned baby elephants, Jabu, Morula, and Thembi. Two of them were saved from a cull of elephants in Zimbabwe, and were severely traumatised; Jabu was never again able to connect with a herd. Elephants are notorious for their memories and close kinship, and these had witnessed mass murder of their families. And as Sandi and Doug formed a lasting, loving relationship with each other, they formed a lasting, loving family with the elephants.
They have no children and spend every day totally dedicated to the elephants. In March 2017, Thembie unexpectedly died of colic. Unlike horses, who also suffer from colic, elephants seldom demonstrate pain, and tragically, within days, she died. Jabu and Morula went into mourning and refused to leave her body for two days. Then Jabu went on a rampage smashing up trees and returned and tried to lift her before destroying more trees. These two had been together always and were best friends. Morula started self harming, using tree trunks to make deep cuts into her skin, whilst Jabu’s musth or temporal glands dripped for weeks, a sign of stress and mourning. I can only imagine the pain of Doug and Sandi, who said she cried so much she did not know if she would ever be able to stop. Shortly afterwards, Jabu had a bad injury to his foot wrist joint, caused by an aggressive attack by another elephant. They are in the process of doing stem cell regeneration therapy to help Jabu regain full use of his leg, and also possibly surgery, for as a result of that injury, his other leg is trying to compensate for the sway in his walk.
We spent four hours with the elephants.
In the first hour, Sandi stood, dwarfed by patient Morula, feeding her pellets (elephants generally graze eighteen hours a day) whilst telling us the tragic story of what happened and their resultant adoption. Historically, we know that Asian elephants have always been trained to work, to be ridden, stroked, washed, and even perform tricks – but never African elephants. Gerald and I were born and grew up in Africa, and have never seen a domesticated African elephant. Yet Sandi never raised her voice, she never even emphasised a word, as I might, with our dog Cino, when I say “Sit!” Instead, she murmured constantly to her, and Morula responded. Sandi places her hand INSIDE MORULA’S MOUTH to feed her, she stands between her mighty legs, she caresses her trunk, her legs, her face, she calls her ‘My Darling’. The love, respect and understanding between these two beings was undeniable, and after 28 years they know each other intimately and communicate as easily with words as in silence. I was struck dumb by the wonder I was witnessing, feeling so privileged to be a part of this experience, and as Sandi shares her knowledge and her passion, we learn so much. It’s clear these elephants undoubtedly would have died without the love and devotion of Sandi and Doug.
The elephants understand English and follow instructions, they respond to lots of words including walk, go, snack, darling, come, back up, sleep, kiss, love, ears, wave, sleep and several signals. At night, they go ‘to bed’ (sleeping for 5 hours from 2 am onwards - as they lie down to sleep, one lung becomes compressed which increases their heart rate, hence they can only sleep for short periods). They sometimes wake feeling lonely, so they demand companionship and food, and short circuit the electric fenced 1.5 acre ‘bedroom’ they have, so Doug has to leave his bed to repair it and give them ‘snacks’!
Today we get the rare honour of standing close enough to count the eyelashes of these amazing animals. We hear them communicate to each other and to Sandi and Doug. I look straight into Morula’s mouth and her long, pink tongue, I see inside her hairy ears, the protective mucus in her eyes, the length and thickness of her eyelashes, the shine of her toenails. We stand motionless, and Morula moves down the line of people, gently reaching out her trunk - she seems to like the English lady and keeps returning to her. My heart is going to explode, waiting for her to come to me. Then she stops in front of me, and gazes into my eyes and my soul shatters with joy. She snuffles my face and breathes warm air into my ear, her wiry hair scratching my face and arm, and gently places her heavy trunk on my shoulder. I’m crying with joy.
I have no words to be able to accurately describe this to you, but I am trying.
Sandi asks, who would like to walk with Morula. ME! Morula places her warm trunk into my hand, and ‘holding hands’, we walk through long grass towards a dusty track. Gerald has hastily taken my phone and is walking backwards taking photos, but Morula’s strides are long, and he has trouble keeping up. My face splits into a huge smile as I stride along trying to match Morula’s pace, her trunk is hairy and wiry, her nostrils moist and warm, and I feel as if I am walking with a beloved relative, I feel so very blessed to be doing this. I don’t want it to end. But it’s Gerald’s turn to accompany this Gracious Lady, and I race to take a video. My Beloved weeps, tears roll down his cheeks, yet his smile is radiant.
The other guests delight in their moments with Morula; she is very sociable and clearly enjoys the company of people. Doug explains that in the off season when there are no visitors, Jabu and Morula get a little lonely, and when the guests start to arrive again, are clearly happy to interact.
Doug is a man who wears his heart on his sleeve, has a brilliant smile, a man who cuddles people as easily as he cuddles elephants, a knowledgeable man committed to educating us, not only about elephants, but the planet, and how we interact and how connected we all are to each other. I love him on sight. He spends an hour introducing us to Jabu, a much bigger version of Morula, with mammoth tusks and tent size ears. He speaks quietly (see America, you can do it!) and shares so much information it’s hard to remember. They have six sets of teeth in life. They gestate for 22 months. There are so many similarities between elephants and humans - including their memory, hierarchy, family structures, (birthing and intense mothering) and communication. They are competitive. They grieve and have dying rituals. They need to socialise and belong. They like to eat onions, potatoes, fruit and vegetables, nuts, grains, and marula trees.
Neither Jabu nor Morula are parents, they were so traumatised in their early lives, and their memories are so painful, that it is difficult for them to relate to other elephants. I have met humans like this. They do use a lot of elephant communication sounds, but Doug says they make one that is not typical to elephants, and adds “We hope it means ‘I love you’”.
Doug asks if we would like to step closer, to look into Jabu’s eyes, to caress his face and trunk, to touch his tail and his tusks. I stand between his tusks and legs, and Gerald joins me. I treasure the photo taken of us looking profoundly joyful – yet friends have asked if the elephant is ‘real’ as it looks so unbelievable! Everyone is silent – breathless - deeply moved by this great gift. We will leave here and speak of these elephants, their majesty and might, and will be advocates for elephants in our world. The English lady has already told us that her community has fundraised to rescue an Asian elephant mistreated in a circus, who now lives happily in a sanctuary.
Doug walks Jabu away and we reluctantly head to the Landie, this adventure is over. But surprisingly, we stop five minutes away for a picnic under two ancient trees. Smiling staff have set up tables and a delicious lunch, the bar is open, there is a bush toilet operating, and us elephant walkers, having shared this surreal experience and taken each other’s photos, are trying to communicate - in French and Afrikaans and Australian and English. The elephants have it over us.
We are enjoying a gin and tonic in the shade, when we see Doug leading Jabu and Morula towards us - to join us for LUNCH? No! But yes, the elephants lunch is being laid out on the ground, branches, onions, potatoes, nuts and as they contentedly graze and snap twigs, we graze on beef kebabs, grilled chicken and salad. I cannot believe it. Literally feet from where we sit, these prehistoric animals are sharing their space with us.
Doug and Sandi work in tandem, shifting from one elephant to the other, as parents at a BBQ might do, watching their errant kids. Morula strolls towards the bar and Sandi calls “Darling! - please come back?” - and amazingly, Morula does. Jabu comes a bit too close, and Doug says quietly “Jabu, please back up?” And he does. I’m in awe.
Doug asks if we would like an elephant kiss. We step forward, and Morula places her hot lips on Gerald’s cheek in a long, wet embrace. I cannot see but I hear my Beloved laugh. We switch places, and I experience the heat, the wet, the wiry hair, the smell, the slobbery suck of an elephant trunk on my left cheek and when she releases me, I hold my face in my hands and sob.
Is this possible? Have we experienced this? What could ever top this?
Before we leave, we all raise a glass of gratitude, and I acknowledge Doug and Sandi for their love and dedicated 24/7 x 365 days a year work, for the difference they are making to these animals and our world, and for their huge hearts. I say what a profound privilege this has been, a day we will never, ever forget. Doug opens his arms and hugs me tightly, then he kisses my elephant saliva-d cheek. I ask if they are going to write a book, for if they don’t, then their knowledge and experience will die with them, and they have so much to teach us about elephants. Sandi says “I wouldn’t know where to start” then adds “All I want people to get is the love!” We certainly did, Sandi! I offer to ghost write the book, and that the proceeds would go towards the care of the elephants. I hope they think about it and say yes.
We drive back to camp through the waterway in silence, simply looking at each other, shaking our heads in disbelief, and grinning. I know we will discover more about today in the days to come as we process this experience. I already know that my heart and my life has shifted.
Thank you, Sandi and Doug. Thank you Jabu and Morula. Thank you, my Beloved for sharing this adventure of a lifetime with me.
And Africa, our birthland, I thank you too.
If you are moved to make a donation, that would be particularly appreciated right now. Sandi tells me that due to the pandemic, they have not had visitors since early March and are heavily reliant on contributions from generous people.
This can be done from the website: withelephants.org. The link to the donation page is https://withelephants.wedid.it
NOTE: Tragically, Doug died in his beloved African bush, in 2020. He leaves a great legacy and a loss that can never be filled, and our condolences, love and thoughts are with you dear Sandy, Jabu and Morula. Infinite love and gratitude.