Wednesday 28th January 2015

Here I am sitting at the airport, feeling strangely vulnerable without my beloved capably taking care of business.   The last day has been one of uncertainty, as the weather report promised New York, New Jersey and Connecticut a 'tsunami of snow', blizzards, services and roads shut down, and people advised to stay indoors, as the worst storm of the century hit, three feet of snow and wild winds.   Should I go?   The flight to New York was cancelled yesterday, and we were up at 5 am to see if mine was - but no, its leaving, but depending on weather, I may have to stop over in Los Angeles. 

We also discovered at 5 am that Gerald's brother John in the UK has bladder cancer, and Lynda (Gerald's sister) called us as we drove to the airport, 2.5 hours away. He is to have surgery, and whilst he sounds 'normal', Maggie his wife is obviously terribly concerned.   All of Gerald's family, bar his Dad, have had cancer.  Its an issue that has been at the back of my mind always, and I thank God each day for my beloved's robust good health.

I have had the feeling he is 'training' me on this journey to New York, to manage things without him.   I snapped at him yesterday saying "Never miss an opportunity to let me know I am useless" - an unfair accusation, actually, but it it true in the area of technology, I am useless, and feeling overwhelmed grappling with the nuances of the I Pad, the I Phone, and the new American phone I will use whilst away. 

I have left Gerald fourteen different casseroles in the freezer.   This morning we dropped Cino at Merryn, our yoga teacher, to save her sitting in the car for hours.  Gerald has embarked on a new training program for her, one he is responsible for, and assures me she will be a 'different dog' on my return.  I hope not too different.   This program involves her sleeping in the laundry, and so far has been successful, although she woke at 4.40 am today and barked and barked, till Gerald let her out.  (I do not interfere in his method training ......)   But she had already weed on the floor.

Now I am sitting in the departure lounge, my gate is not even open and was advised to return in 50 minutes at 11 am for a 11.55 departure, as there are flights before mine.

It is exciting, and it is a long time since I travelled alone - it was Nepal for World Youth International, in August/September2009, just before Mom died.  I think Beverly will be delighted, and I am sure I will survive the weather!   Three things really frighten me:  being cold, being hungry and being sick.   I wonder where that came from in a previous life?

Gerald has already called to make sure I am OK. And Sue, Jane, and June have all called to say goodbye, and text messages from so many others.  But not from our son.